House on haunted hill

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL

July 25, 2007

It seems almost a certainty that Alex Rodriguez will re-sign with the Yankees even if it is only at $30,000,000 per season. It also seems likely that A-Rod, in anticipation of a new and lengthy contract, will buy a 9 acre Mansion in Greenwich, Connecticut for $25,000,000. I personally think he's nuts.

The big story of the possible purchase came from the New York Post who forgot to mention if there's anybody living there now and how old the joint really is. Aside from poor story reporting, we do know that the house contains 7 bedrooms and 17 baths. I did some research about this phenomenon and learned that there should have been 17 bedrooms to go with the toilets. It was built cockeyed to begin with. Downstairs there is a hidden room containing 20,000 bottles of wine, with a special tasting room, and NO bathrooms.

The strange house has a home theatre with only 20 seats, which is ridiculously small. If there is a big family visit, there would have to be two separate shows.

Somewhere on the grounds there is a basketball court, but that might be converted into a batting cage for guests. There are only 2 heated garages, room for only 10 cars, which also makes no sense.

There are 9 fireplaces, but the Post story doesn't mention anything about a living room or a library included in the premises.

The "Lake Carrington" Estate, for some reason, is still not complete. It is estimated that A-Rod will have to invest another $5,000,000 to finish the interior, which would include another bathroom by the entrance way.

The story doesn't mention what kind of house it is, but it isn't a ranch. There are TWO elevators because if one doesn't work, there is a spare that goes up and down.

There are 3 other buildings on the property, including a fishing and an ice skating HUT. That's right. As a child I wasn't as interested in a big house as I was in owning an ice skating HUT!

Alex, and his wife, Cynthia, have one child but are now relieved that if they move into this stately, unfinished mansion, they will have room for still another child. That would mean 4 residents. Would this be enough room?

It is rumored that, in order to keep the premises neat and tidy, a part-time maid would be hired, but with lawn mowing experience.

Alex Rodriguez

Listen......please do not misunderstand me. I think A-Rod is probably the best hitter in the majors and headed for the Hall of Fame. But, to be conned into a silly joint like that makes no sense to me. The builders sat around one day and came to the conclusion that such a monstrosity should definitely be built. They knew one important thing: "Some schmuck is going to buy it."

I mean..... if you were an investor and could build a house like this for only $1,000 down, and $49,000 to complete, wouldn't you do it, hoping that a millionaire would eventually buy it for $25,000,000???

Can you imagine if A-Rod invited me to the house so I can do a big story on him, and said,

"Listen,Moe. My family is out of town and I'll be late. Here's the key and make yourself comfortable." I'd be scared out of my wits!!! I'm not superstitious in the least, but I don't want to take a chance and go there with a full moon and be all alone in what could be a haunted house.

Don't be envious, folks. Never feel embarrassed that you can't get a $20,000,000 mortgage. And don't fall for that "no money down" nonsense. Stay within your own means. Buy a house for $5,000,000, something that you can afford. And remember, you can always add a wine cellar. And you can save a fortune by buying a Colonial, with 12 stairs leading to the second floor, and NOT building an elevator.

Play ball!!!